Parenting Particulars #3

A new, witty, and hopefully weekly post, which will gather all the funny facebook and twitter posts about my daughter from the past week. You can find last weeks here. 

Summer Sightings

Sitting outside on the back yard bench listening to thunder and watching lightening with E is one of my favourite things to do in the whole world.

Merry Morning

E: Where’s mummy?
Me: Asleep
E: Runs into the room saying “rise and shine the day’s begun!”

Scary Screaming

Neighbour just called and E let out the most piercing scream. She is reenacting a scene from the Land Before Time where a dinosaur falls off a cliff…I am sure the neighbour just thinks I was trying to kill someone.

Tiring Trists

Working on numbers this morning.
We counted to 6 and then we were going to do seven and E just lays out on the floor.
Me: E are we stopping? Are you tired?
E: No. Not tired.
Me: oh, are you sure?
E: You’re tired.
Me: I’m tired?
E: Yes, you’re tired.

Minutes later we get to ten.

Me: Shall we count them together?
E: No, I’m tired, I am sleeping out here.

Messy Musings

E: I made a mess
Me: Why?
E: Cause I wanted to. I needed to


I would love to hear some the funny moments you have with your own children.



Parenting Particulars #2

A new, witty, and hopefully weekly post, which will gather all the funny facebook and twitter posts about my daughter from the past week. You can find last weeks here. 

Abbreviations you will need to know for this: H stands for my wife, E stands for my daughter, and M stands for me.

Diaper Doings

We always ask E to throw away the diapers we change. A small part of teaching ownership and responsibility.

H: *discovers a diaper under the blanket of the bed* Why is there a diaper on the bed?
E: *In a joyous voice* Because I didn’t throw it away!”

Silly Sayings

E this morning: “oh my gosh, oh boy, oh boy.”

Bossy Boots

H: E, don’t take that Watermelon. I’m de seeding it.
E: It has seeds.
H: Yes, I’m de seeding it.
E: I’m taking it.
H: No, you’re not in charge here. 
E: Yes, I am in charge.

Parenting Particulars

A new, witty, and hopefully weekly post, which will gather all the funny facebook and twitter posts about my daughter from the past week.

Parenting is a serious matter, but it should also be funny, and it is definitely full of moments to be cherished.


The guest room has become the confiscation room.  The bed currently has on it: a loud obnoxious toy lawnmower, a palace, a doll house and other assortments.

Play Time

Parenting Mess

E decided that monkey (A Beanie baby) needed to eat with her today. She split her food in half so they could both eat what was on the plate.

Minutes later she decided monkey needs a shower…so she decided to get fake baby milk and shower her with baby milk…


Me *walks into E’s room* Good morning.
E: *shouting* Go away, I want mummy
Me*moments later* Mummy is coming but can you tell Daddy sorry for shouting.
E: Sorry Daddy, I am just sulking a little bit because I want mummy.


What We Never Tell You On Social Media About Our Daughter

She cries almost every night when we put her in the crib and leave the room.

We bribe her not to cry by promising she can watch Thomas the next morning if she doesn’t.

At present she is working through separation anxiety and follows us everywhere, even to the toilet.

We tell her not to kick and she kicks.

We tell her not to throw her food and she throws it.

We tell her not to run away and she runs faster.

We tell her we love her and she responds with “I don’t love you.”

Instead of asking for one drink in the morning she often asks for 3, with just the right amount of ice cubes.

She threatens to take her diaper off.

She will often try and touch her own poop.

She won’t peacefully go inside after being out on the swing until the swing has stopped moving completely.

But you know what?

That’s all part of being 2 and working through boundaries. Learning what is acceptable and what isn’t. Learning what is wrong and what is right.

Learning to laugh.

Learning to cry.

Learning to love.

Learning to live.

I know, I know. Everyone likes to post about the funny moments, the touching moments.

The beautiful moments.

The moments you are proud of and want to remember forever.

We never post about the stressful moments because, to put it frankly, who wants to even go on social media when they’re stressed? Or tired…if I’m tired and  have free time, I sleep.

I don’t want you to think I’m a bad parent.

I don’t want you to think my daughter’s a bad kid.

I don’t want you to see the real family behind the social media curtain.

But the truth is, all parents struggle, no kid is perfect, and I’m okay with you knowing we aren’t either. We all need each other and if I’m not open enough to be honest enough about my struggles then how can I ever expect you to be vulnerable.

So here’s to vulnerability, and here’s to parenting.

Here’s to being a father and figuring out as I go.

Because every meltdown, breakdown, throw down is worth it for the prayers, the love, the kindness of E learning to love and discovering just who God created her to be.

A Fathers Heart

I often sing lullabies to my daughter as I put her to sleep.

One of my favourite is an older song from church. It’s by Matt Redman and has a soft beautiful melody.


“I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all

The Father’s song
The Father’s love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It’s written on my heart

Heaven’s perfect melody
The Creator’s symphony
You are singing over me
The Father’s song”

Singing this over her as she falls asleep is one of the favourite things in my life. Tonight as I sung it over her a mystery was also solved and it moved my heart.

Heather and I have both noticed that often when we rock and sing her to sleep we can hear her speaking softly but we can’t quite make out what she is saying. This evening I also heard her, so I paused the song and leaned forward, bringing her head towards my ear and she continued to speak, “and daddy, and mummy. And Bobby and Rose…”

It’s a prayer.

She is praying as we rock her. Each night for the last five weeks she has asked us to pray for Mommy, Daddy, Bobby, Rosie and then there are other additions depending on the circumstances. Sometimes it is Zach, other times it is Mammu and Daddu (Her name for my parents.) Tonight it was Ben, Rose’s younger brother.

I am a follower of Jesus and my greatest desire for her life is that she also will be a follower of Jesus. She is much too young to make that life decision but it is a blessing beyond words to know that in moments of her day she chooses His way.

It is a blessing beyond words to know that as I pray and sing over her she is praying for me, and not only me, but Heather and the rest of our extended family.

Thank you for reading.

I had to share.

5 Things the child in me didn’t understand.

Funny blog for the week. I was driving back from Aldi and found myself thinking about the things I was confused by as a child. Here’s 5 of them.

1.How cabs could be handsome?

I think this came about largely because of watching and hearing about Victorian era detectives.

2.Why could pathetic people see the future?

I would hear this sometimes in conversations. People talked about the prophetic…I thought they were saying pathetic.

3. Why were sage herbs also wise people?

Reading fantasy I was always reading about sages. Who knew?

4. Why could the weather help me make decisions?

Just the English language at work here. “I don’t know whether or not I should do this.” I distinctly remember not making head nor tails of this.

5. How could people could cause it to rain on parades?

Another English colloquialism. “Don’t rain on my parade.” They’re only people…they don’t control the weather!

Who Really Knows How To Parent?

I read a fascinating article today.  In summary, it covers parenting decisions over nap time in nordic countries.

The basic premise of the Swedes, “A little fresh air never hurt anyone” happens to be something I heartily agree with.

But I’m sure having toddlers nap in sub freezing temperatures is controversial in America.

Anyone approaching being a parent these days has to face an avalanche of judgment. If  they don’t read it themselves they will surely hear about study after study and book after book of the ‘best way’ to do it.

The reality is that every child is different and every family is different. A baby’s personality and temperament are as unique as you and I.

What I’ve discovered is that routine is important because it breeds safety, but what that routine is can change from baby to baby. How you feed them, change them and put them to sleep is up to you.

Just as along as it works.

What are some things that have worked for you and your children? I would love to hear about them.